The other half of communication: how to listen

Listening and hearing are not the same thing. Hearing is the first stage of listening. Sound waves are picked up by your ears and transported to your brain. Listening is different. It's a communication process and requires active participation.

So how do you hone your skills to become a good listener?

Stop talking

It may sound obvious, but we can't add to our knowledge or understanding if we are busy talking. Unfortunately, a lot of what passes for listening is distracted half-attention, constant interruptions, and multi-layered, high-volume, free-for-alls with little listening at all.

No multi-tasking

Good listening requires the temporary suspension of all unrelated thoughts. Give speakers 100% of your attention, along with the time they need to complete their thoughts. That means no interrupting, no finishing their sentences and no formulating your reply before they are finished speaking. If you're thinking of your response before they are done, you cannot learn all they have to offer.

Provide feedback

To be an effective listener, you must respond with verbal and nonverbal cues which let the speaker know that you are listening and understanding. These responses are called feedback. Simple phrases like "uh-huh" and "I see" let a speaker know you're following what he or she says.

Effective questioning

Your questions will often be answered if you wait. Rather than interrupt the speaker, make a note of your query, and return to listening attentively. Wait for the speaker to pause to ask clarifying questions. Ask questions only to ensure understanding of something that has been said (avoiding questions that disrupt the speaker's train of thought).

Quick tips to effective listening